It's really gonna happen!

I'm on my way this morning to take my LAST test!  I will be graduating in four days!  It's amazing to me that I am really going to accomplish something that I have been wanting to do for over 30 years.  I wouldn't have been able to do it without the incredible support of my family.  My husband and children and parents have just been so understanding and supportive- I wish I could give them all some sort of award for their amazingness!

And now the future is kind of a big question mark.  I'm not sure what will happen next as far as where I will be and when but for now- I'm just going to sit back and enjoy the show!

Emotional Intelligence

I'm reading a book for my class called "Raising an Emotionally Intelligent Child".  The author is John Gottman.  I was able to hear him speak at a seminar a few months ago and he is very good.  He has been studying family dynamics for well over 20 years.  The idea of raising a child that is in touch with their emotions and can truly cope with what comes their way in life is something all parents want, right?  Unfortunately, all of our good intentions are often clouded by the stuff that we had to deal with growing up too.  The main idea behind this book is to show your child empathy for what they are feeling, give it a label, and help them figure out how to solve the problem.  It seems easy enough!  So, we don't ask a ton of questions to try to figure out what's wrong- we make observations to the child and reflect back on what they are telling us.  We don't criticize a feeling as being unjustified, no matter how trivial it may seem, and we work together with the child to help them come to a healthy resolution to their problem.  This book concludes with a chapter on helping children of all ages (even infants) to become Emotionally Intelligent.  It's a pretty quick read, and very interesting!

Pain

I'm taking a parenting class this summer.  I wish I had taken it when my children were young.  I felt I was doing the best I could as a parent, but I can see now that some of my parenting skills were lacking.  It's a tremendous responsibility to think that the way you interact and live with these little children can help or hinder them for the rest of their lives.  I have been thinking a lot lately of what we as humans do to survive the world we live in.  The world can be so overwhelming and stressful that many turn to food, drugs, media, etc. to escape what is happening and perhaps to lessen some of the stress and pain.  I read a quote in my textbook yesterday from a therapist that really hit home. Everyone would benefit from this, she just happened to be writing about her work with adolescent girls.

"All the craziness in the world comes from people trying to escape suffering.  All mixed-up behavior comes from unprocessed pain.  I teach girls to sit with their pain, to listen to it for messages about their lives, to acknowledge and describe it rather than run from it" (Mary Pipher, 1994).

 This concept of focusing on what is going on in our life is so basic, and yet so hard to do.  I deal with some anxiety issues.  For me, if I start to get that feeling I realize that I have let my thoughts go forward or backward in time- if I stay on the exact moment at hand, I can handle what is going on.

Lost it

I'm taking a 'break' from school this summer but still taking 2 online classes.  I'm back east with my husband for most of the summer too.  Suddenly I find I've lost my confidence.  I don't know where it's gone.  I'm wondering if I have what it takes to make it through the end of this degree.  What have I learned that I can share and teach others?  I'm certainly no expert at anything!  What if I try to work in this field and decide it's not really what I'm cut out for?  I swear I was braver when I was younger.  Is that because I know more now?  Maybe ignorance really is bliss!  I want to be the self-confident woman who doesn't worry about being too old, too slow, too white.  What I need to do is dive.  There is a homeless shelter right around the corner- what is stopping me from helping out there while I'm back east this summer?  Just myself.

Gumby

When my husband was in Iraq for a year with the Army we decided that we really were going to have to be flexible. We thought Gumby was a good role model for us, so we took up the name. It's been a nice reminder on occasion to just relax and go with the flow over things that we had no control over! Now that I'm back in school,I have to admit that I sometimes forget about being flexible because I'm pretty much obsessed with getting the best grades I can. I probably spend too much time thinking about and working on assignments. I love being in school but I do tend to get a little stressed out about it. Speaking of being flexible, I'll tell you who I'm in awe of. I have met some amazing women who are single moms, working AND going to school. Amazing.